turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
