He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
