Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
it's not cheating when I paid for it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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