i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
