is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
