I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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