Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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