i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
