apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
