wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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