what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
