this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
