My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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