I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
