she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
