the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
