Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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