i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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