if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
