And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
no you cant smoke seaweed
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
