How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
