i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
