the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
