When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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