I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
