Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
