FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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