Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
