I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
