super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
