Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
