yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
