I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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