I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
