another moral hangover. fuck.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
