its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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