i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
