loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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