What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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