FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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