I am in a vortex of obligation.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
