oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize