I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
