I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
