i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
zippers are such a cool invention
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize