he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
