My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
