My liver just broke up with me...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
