sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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