I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
