we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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