His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
