Pants 0. Shit 1.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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