Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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