How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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