What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
