if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
