He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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