I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The uberlube is also flammable
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
