So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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