Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
