I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
