you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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