I can text with my tongue
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize